Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
