You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
