Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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