four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
