what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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