that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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