i just made my gag reflex go away.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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