I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
