Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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