Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
