I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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