Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
