I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
