I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize