Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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