so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize