i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
