i think my tv is drunk
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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