Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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