i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
