Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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