My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
