i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize