I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize