Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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