i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
