Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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