you guys were way drunker than both of me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
