i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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