Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize