How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
