turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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