i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
