She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
