Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
