Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize