jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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