She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
