It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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