i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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