I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
