Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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