yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
