He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
