I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ketchup is God's man juice
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize