u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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