i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
