Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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