What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
