Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no you cant smoke seaweed
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
