2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
