About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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