i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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