you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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