explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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