You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
