I wanna passion pit in your ass
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it because I queefed?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize