I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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