just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
