You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize