Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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